Weddings: The Long and Short Of It: How Long Should I Be Engaged?

Project Fairytale

Project Fairytale

Sometimes you just know

We’ve all heard that line before, used as a stamp of authenticity on a short wedding engagement. Another beaming bride to be with a date set, eager to begin the next chapter.

The average amount of time a couple is engaged to be married is around 14 months, however that isn’t to say that 14 months is the status quo to be adhered to look at in an unwritten guidebook.

Since every relationship is different, there’s no way to say any length of a wedding engagement is the right amount of time. If there is one thing I can say for certain is that I know a shorter engagement or “just knowing” intuitively are not substantial indicators to go one way or the other. Eagerness doesn’t always equate with quality of timing.

Life is complicated, and sometimes lining up where two individuals are at in their life can take some time. There are a lot of reasons why aspiring young couples may put off their wedding.

A short engagement is not always a shot gun wedding. It doesn’t necessarily mean there are any buns in ovens, or that there’s fools rushing in.

A long engagement doesn’t mean anyone’s got cold feet; no one needs to be labelled as afraid of a commitment.

There is no prefabricated formula for how long a wedding engagement should last. Even if the lady received antique diamond rings for women, the couple may still opt for a long engagement. There are so many beautiful benefits to both arrangements that we thought we’d break it all down and look at their respective benefits.

Benefits of a Long Engagement

Oh, the long engagement. A difficult proposition (pun!) when everyone around you is getting married and asking “what’s taking so long?”

“Everything ok?”

By no means are these questions to get defensive about, there are plenty of reasons to take some time before the big day. There is no such thing as a “delay” when it comes to a marriage, only timing.

Couples who have long wedding engagements have more time to get everything just right, without rushing.

For some it may be schooling that needs finishing, careers that need changing, debts that need paying, achievements that need achieving, or projects that need completing.

It is quite common for couples to wait a little longer for marriage when either lover is at different places in their life. Sometimes a couple knows what they want regardless of being ready right away, so they put a ring on it and wait.

A longer wedding engagement allows the bride and groom-to-be to have their pick of wedding vendors, hard to book wedding venues, much less pressure, and extensive wedding cost savings.

The chemistry of the relationship may simply warrant a desire for comfort over convention, taking years instead of months to set the date. Some just fall in love with the process.

 Benefits of a Short Wedding Engagement

On the other hand, there are also a lot of really good reasons to get married after a short wedding engagement.

The most common reasons for short engagement don’t include pregnancies or scandal – many couples are simply eager to start making broad stroked life decisions together, sooner.

Getting married means newlyweds are able to jump in and start planning the finer points of their future lives. A wedding date can mean the difference between taking that job opportunity in the city, or another in the suburbs.

For couples that get married faster, it could also be that they’ve been together long enough to get in sync – but whatever the reason, fast or slow, short or long, there is no “right way” to go about it, no matter who you are.

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