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As our parents become older, moving them in with the family might seem like a good idea. It means you’ll know they’re safe, and you can keep an eye on them while balancing your own work priorities and child care.
It also means care is cheaper and gives your parents the chance to maintain strong bonds with you and their grandchildren.
But sometimes, even after we give all we’ve got, it’s not enough. That’s not to say your parents are too dependent or that you’ve failed as a child; it just means they need a little more support than you can provide.
So, what do you do?
How is the living situation impacting you?
Before making any rash decisions, it’s important to review the facts.
How much care does your parent need?
You might be able to manage cooking meals, doing laundry, and shopping but these are all things you’re doing anyway. When it comes to bathing, dressing, or helping them use the bathroom, it’s understandable that you might not be comfortable with these tasks.
Seeing our parents in vulnerable positions can impact us both mentally and emotionally. It can be hard to see those who cared for us for so long and need to be cared for themselves. But it’s important to consider how much of that care you can provide.
Caregivers can suffer from burnout from time to time, so it might be worth looking into respite care for your parent while you relax. Alternatively, it might be time to look into other housing options.
Is the situation impacting your marriage and family?
With an additional body in the house, the home can feel much smaller. And with so many people to care for, having your parents live with you can often lead to strains on your marriage or social relationships.
Prioritizing your parents over your relationships can quickly lead to more fighting for couples, and this additional strain doesn’t make it easy to look after yourself or those around you.
What are the options when it’s not working?
As we mentioned above, respite care is an option. This will be a temporary stay in a respite facility that gives you the chance to focus on your own wellbeing and work on your relationship or family.
But there are also long-term options.
Assisted living in Rockville, MD, for example, provides the perfect home-like environment for your elderly parents while also giving them the chance to live an independent life with a bubbling social life. These living communities are a great next step when things aren’t working for you or your parents with the current situation.
They’ll have access to tons of activities, nutritious meals, and also have their own space.
The topic of assisted living can be difficult to approach, but it’s an important one to have. It’s worth discussing options with your parent and explaining how the current living conditions are making you feel. The conversation will be difficult for both parties but could lead to a much healthy relationship between the two of you.
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