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Foster children need time to adjust to the foster home. They may have been with other foster carers previously and feel that this will not be a permanent home. A history of abuse in the biological home could make it hard for a foster child to trust you and embrace a foster child-parent relationship.
Perseverance is needed until the channels of communication are in place and can be strengthened. But you will reap the rewards of fostering by following a few key strategies. We explain how you can achieve this.
Spend Time Together
Any relationship requires spending time together so that it can develop and grow. You can enhance communication with your foster child by setting up regular shared activities. For example, you can have a Friday night takeaway and movies routine.
Choose age-appropriate movies to watch as this will absorb your foster child’s attention and allow them to interact more naturally. Make sure you stay present and respond to important moments in the film so that they do not see this as a silent activity. Ensure that they are comfortably dressed, perhaps by suggesting a bath and getting into night clothes and have blankets ready for relaxing.
Shared Activities
Find out about your foster child’s interests by openly asking them what they enjoy. Then follow up on this with arranging opportunities to do the activity together. When you are seated next to each other instead of directly in front of them, foster children will be more inclined to answer questions if you display an interest in their replies. Be cautious of it coming across as an interrogation. They are also more likely to speak to you spontaneously when they are not under the spotlight.
Providing Your Foster Child with Gifts
Even a young foster child will be able to indicate that they like drawing pictures. Get the necessary supplies and present them to the child, emphasising that these are theirs to keep and use. It will convey a sense of greater permanence and give the child something to treasure and enjoy.
Avoid using gifts, however, in the place of communication and sharing. At the same time, see to it that your foster child has everything they need, such as personal hygiene items, like a toothbrush and deodorant. Buy two and allow the child to choose a colour. Encouraging decisions shows that you value the person and fully support their natures and preferences.
Provide Emotional Warmth
Positive body language when dealing with foster children is very important. Not all physical contact is appropriate or welcome, but you can communicate non-verbally in other ways. Be warm and maintain eye contact as often as possible. Smile a lot when around your foster child so that they feel reassured in situations where they might be nervous.
Check with your agency, such as thefca.co.uk, if you need advice in this area.
Treat your foster child as family and makes sure that you do this equally for your biological and foster children.
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